![]() So take care my dear, keep those children's best interest at heart and you can never go wrong. You are in a tough place right now, but we can help give you direction. Counseling is always the advice that we give, because it helps so much. Especially if you are shaking when not getting satisfied. If not, there are appliances that can help. Jamie is right about the sexual thing, it could be that you are longing for emotional support. Wear them out so that they wont be so active when you get home. So spend time with them, but try to make it time to your benefit too. And remember these years are so important. Then they wont be so much to deal with at home. Take your kids to the park or a school ground. And you are a good person and don't deserve this. ![]() When somebody continues to put us down llike that, eventually we can believe it. Because without counseling on his and your part, this could be detrimental to your mental health. So I would think long and hard to see if you want to continue living like this. You don't deserve to be treated like that. These guys are right about a lot of things right now, for instance, emotional abuse is abuse. I picked up on smoking again because of the way I feel.I cry and I dont even know what i cry about anymore.tonight I smoked and cried maybe hoping my fiance would comfort me.but he didnt.I just need someone to talk to and help give me advice :-( and today my hands were literally shaking because of it.I don't know what to do.I think i have one.but maybe its cuz im not gettin enough of it? I dont know.Then with friends.I know I have friends but I hardly ever see them it seems like.like they always want me to come see them but they dont realize that its not the easiest to lug two kids around.and it feels like the only time they come see me is for their own benefit.I just dont know who to talk to about this.Ive kept this locked up for awhile now.I wanna see a therapist or something but I cant afford it. Sometimes I just feel empty inside because of it.We fight a lot.and when we fight he calls me all the names in the book and says he hates me.He's even wished me to die more than once.Usually I can handle when he calls me all the names.but now Im gettin to a breaking point where I cant take it anymore.I thought over time i would get stronger and not care.but Im finding Im gettin weaker everytime.Then on top of all that.I hate to think this about myself.but I think I have a sex addiction problem.I think about sex a lot.and we are intimate the average amount(i think) but to me i want more.like now.we have gone id say almost 2 weeks. Like right now I currently don't have a job.not cuz I chose not to.but my promised jobs fell through. On the other hand I feel trapped.I live in a small apartment and with the family everything never seems like its good enough.With my oldest shes at that age she doesnt like to listen and I realize its cuz she doesnt understand but at times it can be very hard cuz she doesnt listen.then its just back and forth with the kids.when ones content the other is upset.Like I said I love my kids but they can be a with my fiance I don't even know where to start.First of all he is a good man and a good dad.but I feel like Im never good enough no matter what I do.Like today for example I told him to lay down and I would take care of the kids because he didn't feel good.well he did.and when he woke up he started nagging me on cleaning the apartment. ![]() I don't know even where to begin.Im starting to think that I'm going crazy.but I know Im not.I just don't know what to do anymore.Anyway here it goes.Im 21 and I have a fiance and 2 kids.First of all I love my family with all my heart and soul and I would never give them up for anything.
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